Battle of the Seans

In the car with the Dad listening to class95....

Dad: Who sing this song?
Eqa: I'm not sure.
Dad: It's Sean Penn
Eqa: No. It's not Sean Penn
Dad: You said you don't know what.
Eqa: Yes. But Sean Penn is an actor.
Dad: No, not Sean PENN. The one who sang "No promises" or something like that...
Eqa: Shayne Ward?
Dad: Ya!
Eqa: This is not Shayne Ward
Dad: How do YOU know?
Eqa: Beacuse he doesn't sound like that
Dad: It's that Indian dude. "down,down down,down,down...dowwwwwwnnnn" Sean something
Eqa: Jay Sean? No... Not him.
Dad: No. The other Indian Sean.
Eqa: ??
Dad: The "Oh God, i got the tick tock to turn you on..i can be the papa and you can be the mom"
Eqa: THAT'S SEAN PAUL!! That's not how the song goes!! AND HE IS NOT INDIAN!
Dad: He sound Indian...ok..Maybe it's the other Sean. That bald dude.
Eqa: ????
Dad: The "you're wayyy to beautiful girl..."
Eqa: Sean Kingston. I don't think this is his song.
Dad: Well it's Sean Something. Something Sean.

Glen Ong: Alright. That was "Right Now" by Akon...

Dad: See I told you! It's Akon!
Eqa: =_=

Don't be normal.

I hate it when celebrities act all normal. Like "heyy look at me, I'm eating MacDonalds..." Screw you ok! Leave normacy to people who do not have bodyguards taking care of their pets! Leave us some kind of legacy to be proud of. We the tribe of the normies do not wish to be trampled on by your perfect pedicured feet in our own territory. That's like the Spanish invading the Incas or Aztecs...

It is so depressing knowing that the guy whom you fancy so much is just like any other guy out there. Which indicates to me he is either extremely unhygienic, completely a douche or is hiding a lacy bra somewhere in between his collection of Vogue magazines. Just be the poster fantasy hot male actor that photoshop has claimed you to be ok? Is that so hard?

I do not need to apologise. My blood count is below 8.5. My brain works in mysterious, cynical ways under these circumstances. So a tip of the effed to you good sirs and there's nothing you can do about it.

Help me

The Waste

This is all the space that I need to talk about it. This never leave this place and space.

Yep.

All I that I have ever known to do is waste time. Waste effort. Waste money. Waste oxygen. Waste of space. Waste.

Too bad for them that I'm a waste that bounce back. A waste that can leave guilt behind after a while. A waste that decided to work only for number one from now on. A waste that will hold true to their prophecy and remain a waste.
You want it. You got it.

And you will never know. Not that it would have any effect whatsoever.

Hours of overdue sleeps later....

The more I hang out with you people the more I love my friends, the more I love my room, the more I feel the need to not make any new friends.

I need to be with my people. You know the ones with the same frequency. I just want to have a decent conversation where I don't have to fake out a smile, a laugh or have to explain sarcasm.
Is it even sarcasm anymore when you have to explain it?
I am slowly losing myself by being here. But society wants me to grow up. So I have to. And I lost me along the way. Might as well. For I would go insane in this place.

And this is the emo me for today. Or me with my bag full of overdue sleeps causing irrational emotional junk.

Speaking of emotional.... I swear those bloody emo punk rockers should either shut the hell up or just commit to their suicides and slit their wrists.



I feel rushed. I feel caged. I feel breathless. I feel trapped.

Rut. Hole.



All by myself...
I wanna be all by myself...
I just wanna be all by myself...
So leave me be...all by myself...

Haven't you heard that I'm gonna be ok?

Conversation with my aunt
"I'm worried about you. From young you would not mingle. You're 24. You have to mingle. You will regret it. I swear. Do you want to end up alone? Why are you an anti-social? If people get to know you, they would love you. Why don't you give them a chance? You're a good person with a good heart, open yourself to possibilities. Meet people."

And then after that it was just a repeat of the same thing. I'm surprise she knows that many vocab. Oh yea. It ended with "Why don't I pick someone for you. Go out and see if you like him. If you don't it's ok. At least try"

I'm sorry. Do I have the word "LOSER" tattooed on my forehead or something?

Conversation with my dad.
"You know at this point, I'm not suppose to be the one to pick you up. This is the job for your boyfriend"

Great. I need a boyfriend with a car now.

Conversation with my mom.
"You know... it's ok for guys to marry old. But girls pass a certain age is more hardrer to tie the knot"

Marriage. You want kids with that?

Conversation with my grandma
"I pray that you are always happy. I pray that you find a good husband fast...."

Conversation with the cousin
"Keckqa you got boyfriend?"


Wow. I can't believe being single tantamount to being a pathetic loser.
You know what's my response to all of it? I smiled and walked away. It's all fate. I'm leaving it at that. If I'm suppose to be with somone I will.
And if not, I'll just purchase a good vibrator ok Mom? Maybe then, I can go for my check-up.

Keep bleeding.. I keep keep bleeding...

I am bleeding... slowly. To death it seems... And nobody gives a fuck. So neither will I. If the pulsating head throbs happen everytime I get up. I'll take it. If I get fatigues every other minute... I'll walk it off. If my heart rate escalates just from my walking to a near-by shop... I'll get over it. What's the panic for? I'm only slowly losing blood. I mean what's the worst that could happen? I die? So what. Life still continues...

Ok...I gotta lie down.. my head is throbbing again.